MY LITTLE PONY: EYES AND HOURGLASSES

Chapter II:  "The Welcome Wagon Comes to Town"

Written by Diane N. Tran


For the first time in her mail-mare career, the pegasus named Derpy Hooves was late in a delivery.  That delivery consisted of one single, solitary letter to be dropped off at the very last residence of her rounds, Ponyville's Old Clock Tower.  When she arrived at the building, she was, of course, as punctual as ever, but the mail-box was still missing from the lawn and she didn't have the courage to knock on the door again.

Dressed in her saddlebags, pacing back and forth, she was at a loss of what to do at the moment, so she paced some more.  If she left it on the doorstep, the wind could blow it away.  If she slipped it underneath the doormat, it might not be seen.  Then a thought came to her, perhaps she could squeeze the letter between the cracks of the door.

Placing the letter between her teeth, she attempted to do just that, but the paper began to crumple.  With a frustrated snort, she tried again and her hoof tapped on the door, which opened a half-second afterward, revealing the new stallion everypony in Ponyville was talking about and Derpy froze in her tracks.

"Good morning," muffled the pony cheerfully in a greeting with an indescribable tool between his teeth.

Glancing up and down at him, the mail-mare cautiously moved her head to stare over his shoulder, which made him raise a befuddled eyebrow at her.  Looking behind himself, seeing nothing out of place, he took the tool from his mouth and finally spoke again:

"Um, is not a good morning?"

Glad not to see that weird, little tin whatchamacallit answer her call, she opened her mouth to speak, but a pony with a mess of rosy, cotton-candy curls nested upon head to tail and a trio of balloons upon her flank zipped seemingly out of nowhere, forcing the mail-mare to face-plant herself upon the wooden panels of the floor.

"It's-time-to-parrrrrrrrrrrrrttttaay!" shouted the pink one in a high, happy squeal.  "C'mon, everypony!"

With that, a cheering circus of ponies of all different shapes and colours whom he's never seen before in his life galloped through his front door, trampling over the poor pegasus, unpacking their decorations of streamers and confetti and their wagon-loads of cakes and confectioneries into his home.  But before the stallion could open this mouth to object at the sudden intrusion, the ringleader began to sing:

THERE'S A REALLY BIG PARTY AT YOUR PLACE THIS DAY, TODAY,
WE ALL WANTED TO SAY YOU'RE WELCOME HERE, HURRAY, HURRAY,
TO PONYVILLE, THE WONDEROUS PLACE TO BE, WHOOPEE,
TO CELEBRATE WITH THE FABTACULASTIC, FANTABULERRIFIC,
SPECTANFLANDIFFERENDOUS, SPLENDITOOTISIMONIOUS,
COOLEST, NEWEST, BESTERIESTEST LITTLE PONNNNNNNNNNYY-YYYY-YYYYYYY—!

"I beg your pardon, but—," Doctor Whooves attempted to interrupt when her jovial song ended.

"Sure-thing, but-you-didn't-have-to-beg-my-pardon-or-anything," the hyperactive mare bounced toward him, as she forced her pink face closer and gawked at him through a pair of her wild, bulging eyes.  Each syllable she spoke jumbled together with the next, somehow shrinking her sentences into long, broad words.  "All-you-had-to-do-was-ask.  I-can't-believe-you've-been-here-a-week!  You-must-have-been-hiding-this-entire-time-because-I've-never-seen-you-before!  In-fact, no-pony-has-ever-seen-you-and-I-know-everypony-in-Ponyville-and-I-mean-everypony!  I'm-Pinkie-Pie-and-I-threw-this-surprise-welcome-party-just-for-you, so-we-could-meet-you-and-you-could-meet-us-since-you're-gonna-be-our-new-neighbour-and-all!  Were-you-surprised?  Were-ya?  Were-ya, huh-huh-huh-huh?"

"Well, umm," he flatted his brown ears bashfully and slowly attempted to step back.

"I-know-it's-great, isn't-it?  I'm-so-excited!  Are-you-excited?  I-invited-everypony-in-town-to-see-you!  There's-Lyra-Heartstrings-and-Rainbow-Dash-and-Fluttershy-and-Bon-Bon-and-Carrot-Top-and-Golden-Harvest-and-Colgate-and-Derpy—oh!"  Pinkie Pie abruptly halted in mid-sentence with a befuddled blink, seeing her little pegasus friend lying flat on the ground, and quirked her head at her, "Derpy, whacha-doin'-on-the-floor?  Never-seen-anypony-cut-a-rug-that-way-before-and-I've-seen-a-lot-of-rug-cutting, a-lot."

Looking up with her wall eyes and wearing a light blush, the little mail-mare rose herself where she laid, dusted the hoof-prints off her grey coat, and unpeeled the trampled envelope off the floor.  She searched the room.  "Oh, no!  Where'd he go?"

"Where-did-who-go?"

"Mister Doctor Whooves."

"Who's-that?  Do-I-know-him?"

"He's the pony you're throwing this party for."

"Oh, yeah!  I-guess-I-am!  I-didn't-even-know-his-name!  In-all-this-excitement-to-get-the-party-ready, I-guess-I-forgot-to-ask-who-I'm-throwing-the-party-for!"  The hyperactive pony gasped over-dramatically, sounding not unlike a noisemaker, when a thought rushed into her head, "That-means-I'll-have-to-throw-him-a-'get-to-know-you'-party, too!  Ooh-ooh, this-is-gonna-be-so-much-fuunnn!"

Disappointed, Derpy gave a flustered sigh and questioned her again, "But did you see where he went?"

"He-probably-went-upstairs-to-change-into-a-party-hat," grinned the pink pony, as she bounded off with an audible boing.  "Okey-dokey-lokey, enjoy-the-paaarrty!"

Leaving Pinkie Pie to her hostess talents, the pegasus pushed through the dancing crowd of ponies and ventured upstairs.