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January 6, 2012
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REFLECTIONS AT THIRTY-YEARS-YOUNG

Part II

Written by Diane N. Tran


Never hold grudges.  There is nothing in this world worth wasting your time and energy by always being angry and resentful.  Shout, scream, have a temper tantrum, break a dish or two, let it go, and move on.  You'll feel better for it.

Every day, wake up and fight.  Some days, you win.  Other days, you lose.  But be thankful you tried and gave it your all because tomorrow is another day, another fight.

I have never felt love, true love, that type of love written about, sung about, bemoaned about, and oh-so coveted by everyone attached to flowers, chocolates, and a Hallmark card.  I have never had a boyfriend, I have never had sex, I have never been kissed, I have never found that type of love that's said to be so special and so rare, and yet I am a romantic and I do sincerely believe it's out there, somewhere, but I've come to the conclusion that it may not be for me and that I may never achieve it.  If you find it, truly found it, cherish it, fight for it, and never belittle it.  Be worthy of this love because there are those who will not experience it and those who cannot experience it.  Just like me.
:icontranimation-art:
I   II   III   IV
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"Reflections at Thirty-Years-Young" is a series of little life lessons I've learned in my thirty years of living life as just myself, just the way life happened to take me, whether good or bad. They can sweet, silly, pathetic, deep, touching, personal, or whatever adjective you care to use, but they are truths I live by and will continue living by and I bring them to you — and I hope you find some truth in them, too.

Reflections at Thirty-Years-Young Đ Diane N. Tran
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:iconjean-marie-arouet:
To have loved once even though there is mutual enmity is astonishing. To lose a true love is a pain carried in the center of the heart then ribs crack and splinter and the heart may be torn out by you. You have a great experience ahead of you. Even if the love is lost tragically when one awakes and sees a stranger beside them and as time passes you see more flaws; run as fast as you can. I would expand grudges and add hatred. Hatred is a high propelling one into the murkiness of twisted blind emotions which only find release in acting on the hatred or medicating it. You no longer exist.

This is my inspiration from what Diane has written. Droplets and endless ripples Is a real sign that art or a little message is valued.
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*tranimation-art Dec 20, 2012  Professional Filmographer
Perhaps one day, I'll discover that romantic love that is always talked about and revered about; but, at the moment, I'm content with all I have now. I'm in no hurry to find it and it's in no hurry to find me. It will come when it comes.

Hatred is such a blinding emotion. People waste so much energy on hate. There are better, more productive things to waste my energy on. Hate eats you away from the inside and it's a horrible way to live. I just let go and I felt better for it. I can only hope others can do the same.
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:iconjean-marie-arouet:
I discovered a rather ugly truth about myself. I can be who I am today; reflective, conscientious, committed, kind.


Or I am an egotist and hate everyone except a very small group of people. If you get an adrenaline rush off of hate, rage made me feel like I was ten feet tall, I have so many endorphins that pain is not a problem, I hit things, not people. Knocked the front door down, regularly punched holes in walls. It can get much worse. I take another medication which profoundly lowers my inhibitions.

My experience with Jeckel and Hyde informs me about sociopathic and psychopathic mind sets. My strong sense of ignorance, ethics spawned by thirty-one years quest for better and better answers. Why tell you this? You said you like to work on detective novels. So banal, what happens when the really-really bad folks come your way. Having A bizarre group in America that sounds much like the one who died before completely turning him into himself, ethnic outcast, family enemy, Spectacular commander in WWII only person of his kind to win a grade three defender of the people and not grade two for racial reasons. A man who greatly admires the handling of the Abwehr. An occasional piece of intelligence from their chief and a tremendous amount of misinformation. What does this say about becoming something antithetical enough to do better fighting against an organization from the out side...etc.

Is that enough to intrigue? It is piece of fiction allowing me my silly space but stay as close as I can to reality.
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:icontranimation-art:
*tranimation-art Jan 10, 2013  Professional Filmographer
Anger is such a powerful emotion. One thing you should never be controlled by this anger. I'm thankful that you don't bring out your anger to others, but you have to be cautious when it does come out. The worse thing is to keep it all inside. It boils and brews and, when it is finally released, the results can burst out like a volcano and things can turn out exceedingly dangerous and violent as a result. Some people make efforts to beat punching bags, to wear oneself out, or to meditate and reflect, any constructive means of release, in order to prevent this. Through time and practice, you can learn to control it before it controls you. Find out what works for you.

There are strong differences between what is a psychopath and what is a sociopath. Psychologically speaking, according to the court system, if a person cannot tell the difference between right and wrong, they are considered a psychopath and can be deemed insane under court of law. If the person does know the difference between right and wrong, therefore chooses to do wrong rather than right, they are a sociopath and cannot be deemed insane under court of law. For example, the notorious Jeffrey Dahmer, serial murdered, tortured, raped, and cannibalized seven people. He wanted to be deemed insane to avoid the death penalty and live out his days in an asylum, but...Dahmer clearly knew right from wrong. Despite the level of ultra-violence of his crimes, he could not be declared legally insane.
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:iconanyauribe:
Diane you of all people should know not to quit.
Youre FAR to Special to go through your paths alone, if there hasnt been that someone special for you it only means whats yet to come will be GREAT! :)

Dont ever give up. everrrrrrrr!
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*tranimation-art Feb 11, 2012  Professional Filmographer
Quit? Why would I quit? I fight to live every day the best way I can. So what if I don't have that special someone? That's okay. I'm not going to makeup my face, style my hair, and change myself into something I am not. That's too superficial for me. I will impress the way that I am, right here, right now, or not at all. If that's not good enough, then they're definitely not for me. I am content with being alone if that's my fate. But quit? Never.
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:iconanyauribe:
That was both True and a bit of a smack in the face.
your vision of life is what the rest of the world need for it to be a better place.
Kudos!
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:icontranimation-art:
*tranimation-art Feb 12, 2012  Professional Filmographer
Awww, thank you. To me, life is how you wish to live it. If you wish to be miserable, you'll live it miserably. If you wish to be sad, you'll live it sadly. If you wish be happy, you'll live it happily. That's how I see it.
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:iconytak:
I agree with the first two parts. They are hard to do, though, like anything worth doing.

The third part, I understand completely. I don't simply agree. It's hard for my family to understand but I have no desire for a significant other. I read romantic stories and am truly *happy* too see people in love with each other but I don't feel it for myself. (and I'll be hitting 30 net year myself)
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*tranimation-art Jan 15, 2012  Professional Filmographer
The first two are difficult to do. Those things are never easy. None of these are easy. If life was easy, why live at all?

My family doesn't understand my disinterest for having a boyfriend either. I consider myself a romantic, if a realistic one. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. And I'm completely fine with that.
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